Short Takes

An Unincorporated Division of the Anonymous Anything Society 7/04/2013

Short Takes

FREE: July 4 and 5, a Free e book from Phil for any computer. See the details about "Water Dream" below.

The mid-day temperatures have been bouncing around between 103 and 111 degrees from day to day in Tucson, Arizona, as the monsoon storms hit and run. There are times when I am sure my 40-foot brittle eucalyptus are going to break in two (this happened to in the last decade - a 40 foot limb with a diameter larger than my thigh went sailing from one end of my roof to the easement beyond the other end), but the fierce five minute microburst this week brought only a thimble-full of moisture.

The next day, I was awakened by a torrent of water pouring off my roof. No prelude of rumblings from Mom Nature. After a long week of expectant yearning that included the errant dry-lightning strike high on the mountain that rises from my back yard, she sneaked upon us very early in the morning. I mean, like 2:10 a.m. The high cloud-cover visible at daybreak spread to the horizon in all 360 degrees. It brought a lot of glare by midday.

Like the Gila Monster, I back-up in my hole in the ground and remain there until late in the evening.

After a half-century in the desert, I have learned never to believe any forecast or sailors' warning.

Humidity was down to three percent one week ago and one could not break a visible sweat. Today, it feels like I'm wrapped in a warm, wet blanket. In the next eight weeks, southern Arizona receives about half of its average annual rainfall of 12 inches.

CHEAP THRILL OF THE WEEK

Vladimir Putin, the human enigma, wrapped in a Russian wooden-doll puzzle, the ex-KGB-nick (He was a Lieutenant - Colonel or "Beetnik" in the 743rd Borsht Spy Battalian), shocked me enormously this week. The off putting Russian Premier, who trades office with the current President of Russia, Dmitry Medvededevded, every four years, called our President a "partner," when asked if he was going to listen to any of the rantings of that young man who is chasing all over the word looking to trade American's most obscure technology for a book deal. Well, it ain't so secret a secret anymore. I think Putin also mumbled something that included the words, "human rights," as if he understood the expression.

The only reason Vladimiovitch wanted Snowden to quit the Moscow Frequent Fliers Lounge is that the KGB already knows everything Snowden was trying to use as a bargaining chip. Putin now even knows when Snowden has to go to the bathroom and where he goes. Believe me.

I have been warned never to trust a translator ever since this loco Gringo asked a waitress in an El Paso restaurant to bring me a bowl of Arena (wrestling, bull-fighting, boxing) instead of a bowl of Avena (oats) for breakfast, but all languages have cognates, words that sound alike, and mean the same thing in both languages. I am almost certain I heard Putin drop the word "prob-leem," in a news conference, although for Obama's sake, Putin never called him "Komrad. "

I'll tell you what worries me most about the "President/Premier for Life." Putin cannot look his partner in the eye when they are supposedly trading talking points. Once Obama turned his gaze away, Putin glanced at him, but when Obama turned again to speak to him directly, it was as if Putin had to avoid the evil eye.

Yes, Vladi you have a problym. It's called Bashir Assad, the Syrian Butcher, now surrogate nephew to whichever cleric is running Iran at the moment and Russia's most valued customer for slightly used tanks and chemical warfare agents.

Need something else not to worry about: Cocaine worth one million dollars on the street weighs about 44 pounds. while a stash of US dollars worth one million dollars weighs 256 ponds.

Until computers replaced Linotype machines, marvels in themselves, factoids like the forgoing would pop up at the bottom of columns, as fillers. I miss them. One could gain a parallel education while reading sports scores. Example: "The largest freshwater fish caught to date is a 646-pound catfish, caught in a Thai village on the Mekong River, in 2005."

The secret word for this week, according to King Lindy Lindstrom of Oro Valley, Arizona is "Don't."

Phil Richadson , Observer and Storyteller.