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An Unincorporated Division of The Anonymous Anything Society    December 18, 2013


TIS THE SEASON FOR MORE POLITICS

    I thought that the Pols would give us a break, at least for the Holy Days.

    All I want for Christmas is to know two things: (One) Who that nice lady is...the one in the white dress with such expressive hands who "Hates politics," but wants us to call our Representative and tell him that "Obamacare just doesn't work" and (Two) Who the rich people are who are spending tons of good money on this never ending "political season." The disclaimer at the bottom of the political video flashes for a few seconds, but I think it is paid for by the Mom and Apple Pie Party.

     I've a better suggestion than ruining my 1,000th viewing of Jimmy Stewart, in "Its a Wonderful Life." Send me the money, "Rich Persons," and I will vote, campaign or petition for anything or anyone you want. If you'll  just cool it for a few days.  Okay?  

    I recently received a suggestion from reader F.C. Tucker of Tucson who wishes us to explore the topic: "What constitutes an acceptable or 'true conservative,' these days?"  Additionally, Tucker asks, "Who do you think is qualified to become "acceptable to the Republican Party leadership." 

    He threw out some names: Rush Limbaugh, Ted Cruz, Glenn Beck, Michelle Bachmann, Louie Gohmert and poor beleagured John Bohner. Mr. Tucker also writes, "We know that the oft-quoted and revered GOP icon, Ronald Wilson Reagan, most likely wouldn't meet the current requirements. What are the requirements to be a "true conservative? Does it require a desire to adopt mean-spirited positions intended to devastate veterans, children, single-parent households, and the elderly - all who are just seen as collateral damage?"

    It appears that the United States has devolved into a perpetual state of catatonic gridlock.

    My friend Jim Bromley writes: "Here's one off the wall: Diane Sawyer for President. She has a post-graduate education in sneakiness taught by none other than Richard Nixon." (Nice knees though, don't you think, Jim?)

    Mike Tonkastar believes that "a conservative is someone who doesn't always hew to the party line; not some lobbyist looking for a payoff or kickback, either." Mike contends that "Government is 'way too big and out of control and the PRESS is more corrupt than Government. It puts out lies and misinformation with the hope that no one has the time or ability to check up on them.'" (Yeah! and website blogs are ten times worse, Mike!)

    In answer to all of the above: Howabout James "Chris" Christie, 55th Governor of New Jersey? Former United States Attorney for the District of New Jersey, famous for prosecuting political corruption and gang racketeering and being nice to the President while rebuilding the Jersey Shore ("Just Show Me the Money, Mr. Pres." - my kind of guy. Of course, no one in Atlantic City took my advice and what they rebuilt on a sand pile has already become a big washout from another storm). 

    Christie's Hobbies: Coaching Little League and attending Bruce Springsteen concerts - 120 so far, at this writing. This demonstrates a terrific, almost obsessive ability to persist. I wouldn't have lasted through one concert. Just think how valuable an attribute this would be if the goal was something truly important and in the national interest.

    And get this: His father was a registered Republican, his mother a Democrat. What can be more American than that?

    I like his chances - If only he would get a yard of his colon removed. Just getting a lap band is not going to prevent his from being a "walking-talking heart attack" candidate for President. 

- Phil Richardson, Observer and Storyteller. 


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